Mid-Term Crisis

I don't think that I've ever been this tired stressed.
I H-A-T-E short semester~!! On top of mid-term test - I still have assignments. I was supposed to blog about my recent but not so recent Hollywood night event but I'll leave that tale for another day.

However, weirdly I still have time to read Inheritance by Chistopher Paolini. Its the final book of the Inheritance Cycle that just came out 3 days ago I think. I L-O-V-E it.

This week, I quite pleased with the results of my oral presentation. I managed to score an A- on individual and B+ for group work. Thats a fairly good score considering the person I believe will do better than me only scored a B+ for individual. Infact, I think I did quite well for my midterm (Workplace Communication) 
Lets hope that it turned out that way.

Now moving on...I love Melanie Amaro in X-Factor USA. I think she has an extraordinary voice. Every week is just amazing. She used to be the invisible girl with the big voice but after her make over, she looked stunning.

Oh and I hate Astro. That arrogant, self-centered, egoistic runt. He's so irritating. I hope he gets voted out soon. How did he even managed to get so far I don't know.

Anyway this is Melanie's Top12 performance>>> Desperado. Enjoy.

MotoGP

Never in my wildest dream that I would be spending my 18th birthday at MotoGP - in a VIP suite complete with a fabulous view of the race track. So much happened...till I'm not even sure where to start.

My job there was to serve a free flow of beverages to the guest and to also clear the dishes. I am really thankful that they were so forgiving and nice - all of them- even after a few of my 'accidents'. I'm starting to understand why some service staff prefer to serve foreigners.

I'm sorry to say that some Malaysians have some attitude problem. After all, we are also human and we have emotions too. It was deadly tiring but it was well worth it....after a whole day's worth of sleep of course. It was so exhausting that I'm even still feeling it now. And by the end we became this>>>>>

However what that was supposed to be an exciting day changed for the worst with the death of a racer. Even though I've only heard of you but RIP no.58 Marco Simoncelli.

I won't say more about the day because towards the end of work - I wasn't really in my best mood. You would be moody too if you were stuck there for an additional two hours. It was almost 10pm and most of us haven't eaten yet.

The day wasn't over yet as I'm surprised by my friends - Aeny, Thurga and Winnie. In the end I still did properly celebrate my birthday complete with a cake and a McD dinner. I don't know how you guys pulled it off but thank you soo much.

This is truly be a birthday to remember - after all, my 18th birthday will only come once. =))

Nilai 2011 Fun Run

Yesterday was NILAI UNIVERSITY 11th Fun Run. It was the first time I saw the entire campus abuzz with activites - lecturers and students alike - coupled with rumours of the the 'officially unconfirmed' Deepavali holidays. It was quite exciting actually.

I did not mind watching them as running/ walking/ anything that requires stamina and endurance as it was never my forte anyway. With my size, people might think I am quite a decent runner but quite unfortunately I suck.

But watching the performances I was literally awestruck. It was exciting and it gave me a feeling that I've never felt in a long time.  A long time ago, everyone in school knew me. Now here in university for once I felt invisible. I wan't to be noticed - a performer - I want to be on the stage.

By next semester, I'll take part as a student helper or a performer. I've already been here 5 month. I can't wait forever. I refuse to spend my entire life doing nothing. I'll start with the upcoming motor GP. It'll be fun. I'm sure of it...or perhaps not?

"The best thing you can do in your life is to follow your heart. Take risks, live life. Don't have any regrets and know that everything happens for a reason."

Uncertainty of the Heart

"It sucks when you know that you need to let go, but you can't because you're still waiting for the impossible to happen."

You were my first friend in a strange place. I wondered if things did change that much. Saying hello to you and yet you won't even meet my eye. Was it me? I want to know - I really do - your reason.

Even though knowing will put me at ease. Yet a part of me doesn't want to ask. It feels like by confronting you -  my fears will somehow be realised. Is it really al right to allow everything to just drift away?

"Moving on is hard. Knowing when to move on is harder."

Yesterday we were best friends, Today I was suddenly a nobody. As far as I'm concerned, I haven't even done anything. Why? I really didn't think you were that sort of a person...but maybe you were. I just never realised.

I'm tired. I really feel tired - anticipating your feelings, trying hard to maintain something that was already falling apart. Do you know that? You were an important part of my life. I won't deny that but I also won't deny that it was also you who single handedly took everything apart.

"If someone came into your life but for some reason couldn't stay...just be glad that your paths crossed and somehow even for a moment you were happy."

This is how I choose to remember you by - friend, sisters, group mates, my first friend here.

Sister Before, Now but Nevermore

"Letting go doesn't means giving up, it means accepting some thing that were never meant to be."

We used to be sisters - you said we'll be sisters forever. What a joke. I should have listened to my heart and yet I choose to trust you. Yet I somehow knew that this wouldn't last.

We used to speak of anything and everything under the sky. We spoke easily without reservation. The friendship we've built...it felt like it'll last forever. I guess you're no different.

I was happy for you when you've found your partner - truly happy and you assured me that you'll always be there. Things will not have changed so much that no matter what happens we'll always be sisters. Or so you said.

As the gap widened I tried to prevail against it but who am I to fight against nature. Does having someone special means forgoing everything you once had? It is inevitable but I feel like I don't know who you are anymore.

She was a strong, brave and so I thought she'd be different - different from other love struck girls. And yet day by day, slowly she was starting to lose a little of herself to him. I fear, one day there'll be none of herself left.

It occurred to me how far apart we've grown. I know that I should talk to you and ask you how you've been. I tried once, twice but I'm not going to ask for a third time. This time I've decided to let you go. You'll hardly notice. But one day, if you're in need of a friend, a shoulder - I'll always be here.

You don't know me anymore and its okay. I understand things are different now. I wish you all the best in love, luck and dreams - Sisters now and always.

"I've learned that things change, people change and it doesn't mean that you're forgetting the past of covering up. It simply means that you've learned to treasure the memories and move on." 

Thats the Way it is~

The song currently in my mind~ =))

Second Semester

Today was quite a whirlwind. Being the first day of the second semester and everything...It was great meeting and getting reacquainted with old friends. Even though we've only met about four months ago, it feels like it has been forever.

It felt great, although I didn't get to go swimming - It was raining plus we had class till 5pm. *sigh* So much for early dismissal. It seems that short semesters are really jam packed. Luckily my subjects aren't that harsh...I think.

In a twist, I'm glad that I had classes with Chef Adi this semester. He is one of the awesome lecturers. Anyway enough of my mindless writing. Just needed to write something. If I don't sometimes I feel like my writing skills might just disappear. Its one of the skills I need most this semester - with two English class. Wish me luck =))

Its a little early for a new year resolution, but I must reduce the amount of junk I'm eating. I'm racking up a dental bill and you don't want to see it.

Identities

As of now, I believe that I have a serious identity problem - Often changing my pen name...which leads to the trouble of changing my username, re-register etc.. you get the point. It is somewhat irritating and yet I can't help it~!!

A certain friend of mine has the same tendency to change her pen names but unlike her I can't stand to have a different name on each account. Its my OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). I like to have things - everything in an orderly fashion. Friends can attest to it.

A long long time ago I used to be stichgirl11 then for the longest time it was sweetvalley27, then Amaryllis and now I have settled for JuliaAiredes. *Sigh* Perhaps...I haven't found it - a name that you can all your own. And pray tell this time I actually keep it. =))

"Words have meanings, Names have powers" ~Unknown

Musing

Just posting my results:

B+..........Basic Food Production 1 (Practical & Theory)
B+..........Basic Pastry & Bakery (Practical & Theory )  
B+..........Restaurant Service 1 (Practical & Theory)      
A-...........Menu Design & Planning                                  
A-...........Introduction to Hospitality                              

CGPA 3.52

My first semester...nothing spectacular in my opinion. It just only barely passed CGPA 3.5. *Sigh* I really must do better if I want to apply for full scholarship.

Expectations

"I strive to take life one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me all at once"

What does expectation means to you?

Its OK if you tell me that you can't complete your task. As the team leader, I will pick up the slack because that is my job. But not when I'm not given anything to work on. Its not enough to say "I don't know" ~ because everyone is doing it under the same condition.

I get pissed when I ask you, you'd rather slack off even when you haven't started anything, even when the dateline is only hours away, even when you are the only one to not complete your task.

Somehow we managed due to sheer luck.

Sometimes we trust them to be who we want them to be and when they don't, we cry.

Of sandwiches and muffins

Yesterday was my brother's PKIK carnival. We were supposed to sell 100 egg sandwiches and 300+ muffins (carrot walnut & banana anyone~?) made by yours truly.

The sandwiches. 

The day was quite a flop.  I mean yeah the volunteers were great. They've prepared our stall, helped carry our stuffs and on the whole were quite organised. But isn't it unfair that they've set the price for our muffins at 3 for 9 coupons but other stall's were priced lower.

So yeah~ The muffins didn't sell well. Even after all the hard work involved in making that much. Next time if they ask us to make 100 we'll make 50 (Advice from the experienced)  After all, other stalls did the same. Only us n00bs were fooled.

The only great thing that happened to me was this...

Tada~

Can you believe that these books, especially the last one~ Eragon & Eldest combined. The whole stack only cost a total of 13 coupons. Whatabargain!! To me at least.

I can't wait to start readin' em

PS:// Many thanks to my dear friend Ashi for helping me make muffins =)

Memoir

1 Litre of Tears

It had been almost a year since I'd last blogged. A lot has passed since then. The then, long awaited SPM examinations...results days...college... Everything that seemed miles away passed within a blink of an eye.

I've just finished my first semester in Nilai University College. Its amazing that somehow I ended up taking Culinary Arts. I mean, I'd always wanted to be a fashion designer...then mass communications... you get the idea.

To all my friends, past, present & future ~ I'm glad to have a chance to get to know you guys. I'll try to write more regularly but who knows (^^)

Anyway~ as for the title, It's a heart warming Japanese drama based on the true story of a Japanese girl named Kito Aya who was diagnosed with an incurable degenerative disease "Spinocerebellar Degeneration" aged 15. Its a cruel disease which the victim will slowly lose all ability to walk, talk, eat and yet it doesn't affect the mind

Ikeuchi Aya had everything~ she had friends and family, excelled in her studies, talented in basketball and secretly has a crush for her senior. However, when she was diagnosed, her whole world came crashing down. She said this "Why did the disease choose me? I cannot carry it, if it’s just for the word “fate”.

On a date, her senior became a perfect coward. She often wondered if she had not had this illness, she would have the chance to experience love?

She tried her best, trying hard to live, finding a purpose in her life. Only to Haruto Asou she could express her feelings of hope, disappointment and pain. He was the light as she fought despair that threatened to overwhelm her.

But she knew that one day they will part ways. It would've been easier. When asked why, she would say "Would I've be able to get married?"


"To be able to smile and tell everyone this~ I have at least cried 1 litre of tears"

Of all her inspiring and courageous messages. One that stood out was this :

“Just being alive is such a wonderful thing.”

17th

It occured to me - I’m finally 17.

One month from now we’ll all be taking our finals that will mark the end of our high school years. From there we’ll go our separate ways and would probably never meet again.

The fact that this familiarity will finally reach its conclussion is a little daunting. I mean I’ve spent my entire life wishing it to end but now… Its exciting - the unknown that is.

Anyway Thank You to all who remembered my birthday. I was really happy. I didn’t think there would be this many but then again I guess facebook helped too. A gift really isn’t necessary.

“Even though we’ve changed and we’re all finding our own place in this world, We know that when the tears fall or the smile spread across our face, we’ll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we’re all not still friends”

Moving On~

Hey People~

Its been a long time since I've updated. I've just been past a turbulent part of my life. I'm moving on right now literally to Wordpress Tumblr (sorry to Wordpress fans but I really dislike it ;P) where I hope I could begin blogging there afresh.

Here's the link>>>> http://amaryllisbella.tumblr.com/

This is a quote I stumbled upon that I find quite relevant to my current predicament

"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending"

Talk about Drama~~

This is so very overdue. There is so much happening and so little time that I just feel like its such a bother to blog about everything.

In the recent months there is trouble brewing between my class & another. Quite a big issue at first (well there is $$ at stake) but then well we just couldn't care less anymore. We all have friends in the other class too. So currently everything is going smoothly I think...

Anyway I'm going to leave things at this. I'm swamped with homework, projects, folios & exams that somehow or another LOVE to pick the SAME datelines. What I'm bothered is the fact that I signed myself up for EVERYTHING~~Maybe AFTER I dig myself out I'll blog some more but till then~~well we'll see.

The day has Come.

Today was really exhilarating~!! I didn't know debate would be this challenging & fun. Well for most of us, this is our maiden debate.

It was quite hyped out, Arts 1 are going against Science 1. The motion was "This house believes that advertisement brings more harm than good." and I am the 2nd opposition speaker.

The result was close, lost by 2 points. Even so, some think that the judges were bias. During the debate, Science 1 had "informants" which was illegal. They weren't suppose to have extra people helping them during the debate!!

Point 2, During POI, twice they have overstepped their boundaries by arguing with me AFTER stating their point of information. Third, the 3rd speaker has brought up a NEW point when she was supposed to do only REBUTTALS which was again against the rule.

I didn't know how the finals went, but its gotta be amazing because the motion was really difficult. "This house should abolish death penalty"...or something like that. Debate is really thrilling. I wanted to go back there and re-do it but what is bygone is bygone so whatever.

I really salute those debaters. I myself find it hard to keep a level head and also remember what the opponent say and also what your team mates mentioned. I find myself losing track on what I was supposed to say XD

Congrats to the winning team~!! ^^

There is always a First Time~

I never knew how fun an open book test could be.It was really interesting especially during history exam. The moment our teacher said start,all you could here was the sound of flipping book pages XD

Then suddenly, everyone was quiet. We either found the page ourselves or was being told of the page by our neighbors. And then we started to copy and paste. The thing was, halfway through the essay questions I realized that I copied the wrong thing!

I was like "oh shit",smacked my forehead and I was inwardly screaming,"how could I NOT have seen it! I might even be the first to flunk an open book test if it was even possible!" I didn't realize though that my friends could hear me XD


Luckily thanks to my "amazing" speed writing *ahem* I managed it in 5. God thats a lot of drama for a 1 hour test.

Anyway, our school should do this more often. Its not stressful and quite fun actually. It would be even better that they would do this for SPM but I'm really pushing my luck there. ^^


I think the image above said everything. Just 6 more month to go. Patience patience~~~

Where's the Silver Lining?

I might delete this soon when I realise how stupid this post will sound. But for now... Recently my life's been quite chaotic. Its been anti-climatic since the last exam. Looking back, I realised that much has changed.

Things change, people change but somehow I feel left behind. Like a broken record. Just recently, I've learned a lot about what people in general think of me and some of it isn't good.

It seems that some people's first impression of me being pretentious and dislike me in general. According to them, its because:

1) Apparently I'm too nice to be real (hidden intention?)
2) I somehow "stole" someone else friend
3) I have slightly better grades.

Of course that was two years ago but somehow I wonder if it still holds true today. Now every time I look into her eyes, I keep thinking, wondering because I think that even if I ask her directly, she won't give me a straight answer.

Some may think that I'm doing the "cutesy" act but I don't. Its just me being me. Period. I get where you're coming from but how to I change someone who I've been,still am and will be? I can't change who I am and how I act but is it that bad?

It hurts to care. Very much so. Its different before I met these people. To fit in, I had to learn to get along with people. Get to know their likes and dislikes. They are undoubtedly nice people but they are just different. We never clicked so I became somewhat distant.

That's why I felt happy because I finally meet wonderful people who are more of my type. Recently a friend and I had a talk, as honest as we can get.
Look I'm not asking people to like me but please understand. I'm simply me. I hope that from this point things will turn for the better. I hope.

Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on.

Campus Life?

"To live is to choose. But to choose well, you must know who you are and what you stand for, where you want to go and why you want to get there.”

I went to Midvalley for the Education Fair. I thought that now I know what I would want to study (which is Culinary Arts by the way), all that's left is the simple matter of choosing a college/university to go. It cant be that hard can it...

Its just not that simple.

There is a college but its more like a academy that specialises in culinary. If I go there I'll have much experience needed for this kind of work. Its like the right thing to do plus I do like the place but somehow I feel like if I go there, I'll never be satisfied.

It may seem shallow but I want to experience college/campus life. To join clubs and meet people other than those taking the same course as me. I want to graduate in a convocation wearing the robes and going up the stage...Is it bad? Is it selfish to wish for it?

If I were to go to a proper university, I would have all of those but then again...Well I have to study more of a F&B side which means more study and bury my head in books. Something that I'm not very keen at. Well at least my mother is giving me full reins on my future.

Two roads diverge in the woods;

And will I take the one less travelled by

Well who knows

We'll just have to wait and see