First Impressions>??

Is it because the truth hurts>? I can't help but wince

I have always wondered what people thought of me. I always thought they did not matter but today I just realised that deep down...somewhere in my heart maybe I always did in so many levels.

I have heard many words that described me but I never thought that one day, someday I'd be called a bitch. Even though this was something she thought of me in the past I still felt a little hurt. We were talking and for once I'm glad for the cover of night.

Maybe it'd hurt because it wasn't just her thoughts... but to know what half of my class hated me when I first entered because personality wise, I was described like a bitch. Even though they mellowed out once they got to know me but don't you think its a problem>?

I was told that it was probably because of my attitude when it came to assignments and such. That I was being demanding and short tempered when working in a group. 

I realise that I can;t help getting  into that royally pissed mode people don't do their work. I don't think its too much to ask. I hate group assignments because I always end up being the one carrying the slack. But sometimes by the time I realise that I'm being "bitchy" its already too late.

So tell me. Is it that wrong for me to be selfish when it come to my studies>? I was always thought that when it came to my studies I should always put myself first before anything else because anything lower then CGPA 3.5 will not be paying for college.

Tell me. Have I being wrong? What am I supposed to do. Sometimes I feel lost amongst the world. Where is my place in all of this.

Is This Life

Writing this now, I am looking upon numerous unpublished post for my blog. I don't know why but recently I feel that something essential has been missing from my writing.

It used to be something that come so naturally. Now looking back, I miss the days where my classmate and I would sit down and spend hours discussing characters, their flaws etc

I seem to be losing my sync~ Any advise? I have no more time to dance, draw and pursue my other interest. I feel like sometimes I have a problem of putting my ideas into words. I used to day dream in class and scribble my ideas but it seems that I don't any more. Is it part of growing up>? I don't want to lose that side of me.

Living in campus I love my home so much more then before. Now is the beginning of my 4th semester and I will not waste a bit of it. I have to work harder to maintain an above 3.5 CGPA because recently I feel to a dangerously low CGPA of 3.58. 

Its hard to believe that I'm now entering my second year in college. Recently I have gained an interest in Jdrama/Kdrama more so then Anime. And I believe that this is not helping my studies. However no matter what I especially <3 Choi Siwon. Time flies so fast...even faster then ever. I'm already 19 but I still feel like I was just 17 yesterday.

Well if this gets published in my blog.......well its quite messy isn't it. Perhaps I need to put my thoughts in order.

Formula 1

I'm really looking forward for the month up ahead. Its almost like a whirlwind with everything. On the top of the list is the up coming F1 part time job. Surprisingly this time I was among those assigned for the kitchen. Even though we're DCA students but we're only in our third semester.

Honestly I don't think I can manage preparing food en masse for THAT large event but I'll do my best.

Of course there are also other stuff but it just vanished from my head. So there. Wish me Luck