Confessions of a Mela-Choleric

Its the end of the year. 

Much has happened good and bad. Looking back I realised that a lot have changed. Some I may or may not have realised yet.

For this year - for the first time I found a resolution for me to keep - something personal. Reasons being that upon reflecting back I realise that I am a pessimist. I'm proud, vain, stubborn - features that I'm not proud to admit. There are much to be thankful of and I did not. 

I chanced upon a personality quiz a month ago and I was stunned on how closely it matched me. Here are some snippets

 "...prefers to work alone, rather than with people."

"...your weaknesses include a tendency of excessive self-criticism and criticism of others, being dismissive or overly judgemental  and possessing an untrustful and controlling nature." 

"...can become a cross to those around him, through his nit-picking, perfectionism, disdain, bitterness, resentfulness, spitefulness when crossed, and even haughtiness."

These are issues that I've been struggling with this year. Trust is very hard to give and as much as I try, I demand too much from others and I become frustrated and disappointed when they fail. I am also exhausted as I find it hard to let go.

Problem issues isn't it?

However, next year will be a fresh beginning, a new one and also my final semester. A year that I intend to treasure. One where I could try to change for the better. 

I won't promise anything but I will do my best.

The Culinaire Choice

Truthfully I have never ever considered, not even a tiny bit of being a chef student. My choices had been what you can call a typical choice? Predictable. Fashion Design, Mass Comm etc.

However when it was suggested, I felt it 'resonate'- if that's the correct word - within me. But still  even within Culinary Arts there were choices within choices. Where to go? What to specialize in? I am never one to mull on decisions long but I was. It stumped me, the limitations of myself.

I love the front lines, service is my passion. Interacting with guest beings be joy. Its stressful, yes but still I love it. However for my internship, I would still need to select a field to specialize in.

Hot Kitchen is exciting, where all the main action is. I thrive on action finding myself loving it in practical sessions. However it is one matter to cook pre-prepared and another matter to cook for live crowd. Fried noodles and such need to be cooked ala minute - which means you cook when the order comes in. No matter how good I'll be, I'll never have enough strength - strength to compete with the gentlemen.

Cold Kitchen - Salads, Starters, Sandwiches -  a predictable selection usually for female students. Its okay, excellent even but still not quite there. Something essential is missing. The same goes with pastry. Arranging desserts all day isn't how I want to spend my 4-6 month. I want to learn something new. Even with the lowest task.

I've never though of this before but then it occurred to me - What about the Bakery? Its not usually a typical choice for girls because of the heat but still... I don't like eating bread but then I think I actually enjoy making it. Kneading dough, learning of the different types...its exciting but its not as taxing compared to the main kitchen.

It was then I made my choice. I would apply for the Bakery Departments and perhaps the Cold Kitchen as supplements. Choices are very important. Its what that makes our life. I have found mine and I will never look back. Have you made yours?

Now and Then

Recently I went through older posts and I can't believe that I've written them. It felt strange...I felt the old me was more...me.

I'm currently in my 5th semester and I feel that time passed too soon. Again I went for the 2012 MotoGP but this time as a Kitchen Crew...my birthday...everything went by in a flash.

I feel that somehow if I don't record these moments I will lose them to time. After all  there is only so much our brain can remember.

Compared to before, since high school I've stopped dancing, writing, photography, anime...

I guess I changed~in more ways then one. I can;t say if its for the better or worse but I'll love myself and embrace it.

Lets hope my next post here would be more regular~ =)

SUP3R JUNI0R~

I don't know where to start.

I swear I was never a Kpop/K-drama fan before and even if I did watch them I used to prefer J-drama. I think if I were to simplify it, it would be like this:

Skip Beat manga/anime >> SB Taiwan drama >> Super Junior

I bet you're puzzled.

Before everything I am a fan of manga and I was really excited when Skip Beat was to have its own drama

I had low expectations of Mandarin drama because I am more of a TVB Hong Kong drama-ish person. But I watched it anyway and was amazed. It wasn't as bad as I thought it to be. Choi Siwon as Tsuruga Ren was especially mind blowing. (Incase you're curious Donghae on the left is supposed to be Sho Fuwa)

I was even more surprised that Siwon is a korean because his Mandarin is damn good...O_O It was until I checked mr.Google that I learned that he and Donghae is part SuJu. By then its already too late. Their catchy songs and amazing routine has netted me.

SuJu is a Kpop boy band debuted in 2005 as a 12 member group but comprised of 13 members at its peak. However Hangkyung left in 2009 after a dispute/lawsuit T.T

Currently, SuJu has 10 active members with the return of Kangin from his mandatory military service. Unfortunately Heechul is still in the army and Kibum...well he's away.

Honestly, it took me a while to recognise ALL their face since their routine is face paced. And my favourite of them all if you haven't guessed already is Choi Siwon - the gentleman/prince of Suju. 

I regretted that I haven't liked them before since there are people I know that have tried to introduce them to me years ago. I feel like hitting my head because they even came to Malaysia before. I am now looking forward to their upcoming 6th Comeback album - Sexy, Free & Single released soon on July 1st. It will be the last album before Leader Eeteuk leaves for his mandatory military service and another estimated 8 years before the whole group can be together again (Most of them haven't completed their Military Service)

Right now I'm excited....really excited

Whoopie~!!

Today has really made my day in so many ways. 

I have really been dreading class with my lecturer Chef Rafan because even when I was not his student...yet, on one unlucky day I got scolded by him three times. The worst is - It wasn't even my fault. I just happened to be standing there at the wrong day and wrong time. I mean, don't you feel wrong that you;ve been yelled out of the blue. However, this is how our industry works. As my lecturer says Welcome to the industry.

Today I have been assigned to do main course which by itself is a rarity last semester. It wasn't because I did not want to do it - It's just that I don't get a chance amidst all the boys. No matter how good I become, I will never be as strong as one of the boys - especially hard headed boys like them. Its not that I don't like them, I actually like them very much but sometimes I'd like to have a go at it too. If you get what I mean. 

Participating in this advanced kitchen practical with our  junior/senior degree students was really awesome. First of all, since we are their seniors in terms of experience wise (degree students do not have intermediate and join advanced from basic), they tend to defer to us.

We were in charge of the Lamb Cannelloni and which she preped the lasagna I did the Lamb Bolognaise sauce which received the seal of approval. But the best part was, instead of sidelining me to plating  he addressed me by my name and asked me to man the grill. I was really over the moon~!! This lecturer do not remember his students names easily. Heck, he doesn't even remember the names of my course mate who took classes with him last semester but he remembered mine after one day.

I hope this bodes well and may I always stay in his favor - since after all this is an 100% coursework subject. To stand out well would almost guaranty me an 'A' in his subject. 

First Impressions>??

Is it because the truth hurts>? I can't help but wince

I have always wondered what people thought of me. I always thought they did not matter but today I just realised that deep down...somewhere in my heart maybe I always did in so many levels.

I have heard many words that described me but I never thought that one day, someday I'd be called a bitch. Even though this was something she thought of me in the past I still felt a little hurt. We were talking and for once I'm glad for the cover of night.

Maybe it'd hurt because it wasn't just her thoughts... but to know what half of my class hated me when I first entered because personality wise, I was described like a bitch. Even though they mellowed out once they got to know me but don't you think its a problem>?

I was told that it was probably because of my attitude when it came to assignments and such. That I was being demanding and short tempered when working in a group. 

I realise that I can;t help getting  into that royally pissed mode people don't do their work. I don't think its too much to ask. I hate group assignments because I always end up being the one carrying the slack. But sometimes by the time I realise that I'm being "bitchy" its already too late.

So tell me. Is it that wrong for me to be selfish when it come to my studies>? I was always thought that when it came to my studies I should always put myself first before anything else because anything lower then CGPA 3.5 will not be paying for college.

Tell me. Have I being wrong? What am I supposed to do. Sometimes I feel lost amongst the world. Where is my place in all of this.

Is This Life

Writing this now, I am looking upon numerous unpublished post for my blog. I don't know why but recently I feel that something essential has been missing from my writing.

It used to be something that come so naturally. Now looking back, I miss the days where my classmate and I would sit down and spend hours discussing characters, their flaws etc

I seem to be losing my sync~ Any advise? I have no more time to dance, draw and pursue my other interest. I feel like sometimes I have a problem of putting my ideas into words. I used to day dream in class and scribble my ideas but it seems that I don't any more. Is it part of growing up>? I don't want to lose that side of me.

Living in campus I love my home so much more then before. Now is the beginning of my 4th semester and I will not waste a bit of it. I have to work harder to maintain an above 3.5 CGPA because recently I feel to a dangerously low CGPA of 3.58. 

Its hard to believe that I'm now entering my second year in college. Recently I have gained an interest in Jdrama/Kdrama more so then Anime. And I believe that this is not helping my studies. However no matter what I especially <3 Choi Siwon. Time flies so fast...even faster then ever. I'm already 19 but I still feel like I was just 17 yesterday.

Well if this gets published in my blog.......well its quite messy isn't it. Perhaps I need to put my thoughts in order.

Formula 1

I'm really looking forward for the month up ahead. Its almost like a whirlwind with everything. On the top of the list is the up coming F1 part time job. Surprisingly this time I was among those assigned for the kitchen. Even though we're DCA students but we're only in our third semester.

Honestly I don't think I can manage preparing food en masse for THAT large event but I'll do my best.

Of course there are also other stuff but it just vanished from my head. So there. Wish me Luck

Fear

Fear.

The feeling of your heartbeat thumping against your chest magnified a thousandfold.

Your hands shaking

The feeling of darkness closing in.

For the first time I feel the what others mean by the fear of driving. 

Unknowingly it grew until it begin to cast a shadow on my heart.

Its such irony 

Writers Block

I hate the feeling when I want to blog something and I can't for some reason. Sometimes I feel like my mind is unable to construct the topic I wish to blog about. So much to blog about and yet....

A nice example would be about my New Year trip two months ago which I doubt it will ever appear XXD

So there.

I'm also feeling particularly nostalgic recently as I am infecting my college friends with my all time favourite anime D.gray-Man and Code Geass. When I mean all time fav it really is as I strongly prefer manga.

Life's good for now, maybe I'll be making some apple tarts

Cheers. =)

Food & Travels

This year my family and I made our 5 hour return to Sungai Petani which "officially" was for prayers at an old chinese temple in Kepala Batas, a small town on the way. I've been going to this particular temple ever since I was a baby and my mom has been there since she was a baby and her mother before her so you can guess its pretty much a tradition.  

But... in all honesty it was most probably due to the ever awesome food. Food here is cheap (come on...where else are you going to find a bowl of noodles for RM2.80), delicious and generous in ingredients. The best part is...its still following the old recipe that been passed on from generations thus the authentic taste.

Photos by wenlynn-chin.blogspot.com

One of the best places to eat is a street in the old township called 'jee kay' or 2nd street. With plenty of hawker fare to choose from, here is where the best food on the whole of SP is located. But beware...you are strongly advised to come at 4pm as the food will be all sold out by 7pm. 

On second thought, people here must've really love their food to come at 4pm...

Some of my favourites are Song Song chicken (which by the way I swear is better than KFC), laksa, Ly chee kang, cendol,  popiah, lobak and not to forget the springrolls and the chai kwey here. These are not even half. You  may need to come for a few days to be able to sample everything.

Another great time to sample the food is during the morning. Opporsite 2nd street there is a multitude of old coffee shops but there is one particular shop which serves the best loh mee you could ever find. The secret was in the gravy that has the ideal consistency of neither too liquid or thick. However I don't think there will be many years left to enjoy the old man's loh mee as I have not seen anyone taking up his mantle. The same goes with the super delicious banana pancakes from a back lane street across the coffee shop

These are some of the best food that I enjoyed and hope to continue eating for many more years.

%&#$ you

Today I had experienced my first time as a restaurant manager...and boy do I suck. All the mental preparation came to naught as things change and you have adapt.

However I have much to thank my friends and also my co-worker/ classmates for their support. Now I need to analyse my mistake to see where have I gone wrong.

There was so many things that could've been done better. I was frantic when we had a last minute walk in of 8 VIP guest. I've also forgotten to prepare a soundtrack...and during the course of lunch, we did not do crumbing, change cutleries. I also felt like we were too slow and guests were kept waiting for too long.

But my biggest pet peeve today was the b*tch who ffk-ed me. Imagine if I did not have the additional walk in...what am I going to tell the lecturer? The whole world could ffk me buy never her. I hate the fact that I just got manipulated/ threatened by her. 

"Next time you guys also have commercial, also need people to help you, so help us this time, next time we can help you." 

This is her direct quote. I wasn't happy with the manner and tone she said this. I felt like she was threatening that If I did not attend hers, she wouldn't attend mine. So FINE I attend but in return she must attend mine. 

Even though we're suppose to collect payment first, I trusted you as a friend that you would come when you said you would. She didn't even have the decency to inform me. Don't promise if you can't because you;ll just be ruining people's life. She should know better as our course is 100% coursework s every single mark is important. 

Butterflies in the WInd

Have you ever felt how quick the time flies?

Time flies, I've always agreed with that. However, In recent years I felt it pass the quickest....16, 17, 18 and now 19. I felt like in no time, if I'm not watchful, I'll be an old lady before I achieved anything. =/

This semester is very stressful since I have the 'good fortune' for the Dean as my lecturer. Our practical class is where each of us take turns every week to be the manager and in turn manage an actual restaurant of 30+ pax. 

I am the first MOD (manager on duty) and the problem is that he expects things to go smoothly but he hasn't even met us - his students yet (for briefing..tutorials). 

I am hoping that things can go smoothly as this subject is  100% coursework which means we have to do well each and every week. With him...I somehow doubt it. Pray that I will manage well...

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On another topic...today I made French Onion Soup with Garlic Bread (serves 4) for breakfast. Just so you know...don't be intimidated by this recipe. Its one of the easiest to prepare and it is a personal favourite of mine. As usual, I didn't manage to get a picture again as it was gone is a split second.

Ingredient

1/4 cup butter

3-4 nos onions, sliced thinly

1 tsp sugar

1tbsp flour

2 1/2 cup of chicken stock

1 tbsp of white vinegar

Basil leaves

Method

Melt butter and sauté onions for about 10 minutes or until soft and brownish (not burned). While sauté-ing, add sugar. After that, stir in flour until it blended. Add water, stock and vinegar (Can be substituted with white wine if you have any). Reduce for about 10minutes and it should be ready to serve. 

In the meantime, garlic bread is a simple process of crushed/ chopped garlic + butter + basil leaves spread on normal everyday bread. It is then toasted in the microwave oven till brown =] Be careful as it is brown not black. 

P/S: Do be advised that each serving is western sized portion.

Challenges Ahead

Its the time again where semester begins and you are constantly feeling like sh*t and yet excited all the same

Throughout the holidays, I spent my time catching up with my various interests be it catching up with my novels, mangas, drama, trying out new recipes and of course my recurring addiction of Pet Society. Needless to say, my love for it is still as strong as ever. 

Today had been a fairly interesting day. I travelled back to my campus at Nilai to register for the new semester and I find it extremely annoying that the lady managing the Hospitality Counter isn't even from this department. I don't know whether to pity her or to get pissed with her. She is slow... inefficient and she doesn't even understand what I'm talking about. Things went downhill from here

bla bla bla I went back to my accomodation to find it sort of ransacked. They apparently have mistakenly assumed that my room is empty and proceeded to clear my room EVENTHOUGH the cupboard was padlocked and there was OBVIOUSLY signs of people living there. My bed was overturned, my bed sheets gone, items in my drawers cleared and dumped aside. 

This is a sign of the incompetence. How can you NOT know that someone is living there when I already PAID two months earlier. 

On a brighter note I have a GPA of 3.80 last semester with a result of 1 A and 2 A-....I'm happy but I am also disapointed as a classmate has managed to obtain a higher score than mine. This is brought my CGPA to 3.63...Not bad...I guess but I have to keep up.

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On another topic, I'd like to share a recipe thanks to a great friend of mine (who has also 'persuaded' me to continue blogging) 

Herb Marinade CHicken (serves 4)

4 chicken legs
1/2 cup chicken stock

1/3 cup olive oil 

1 tsp sugar

1/2 tsp soy sauce

1/2 tsp pepper

1/2 tsp cayenne pepper

2 tsp garlic

basil leaves

Combine all ingredients (amount is estimate) in a bowl

Marinade chicken legs

Preheat and Bake in oven at 180C for about 45 minutes

Its a really easy recipe that is currently a family favourite and so I'd like to share it in light of the soon to come festive season. I;d post a picture but its gone before I could so yeah...try it. 

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And also in light of the year of the dragon may your family be blessed with good health, peace and prosperity