Flutters

Tell me. What do you do if there is someone you like? Do you tell him first?

We met two years ago - during our orientation. My crush...Its a strange word. I had always liked him I guess...but I might not have realised then.

He is an aircraft student where as I'm in hospitality - Together with the nursing sector, we're the three most 'secluded' field as we have our own unique schedule and hardly interact with normal students.

Its my last semester, I intend to shelve it as after graduation we would probably never meet again. What good will it do? But today I met him again...That familiar feeling...What should I do?

Sense of Finality

Currently it's the second week of my final semester. It's busy and still shifting with timetables not in place. In a way I believe that is similar to how people behave. Our batch - which has always been somewhat together - has fractured. In the most obvious sense is half of us choose not to graduate this semester.

Well anyway with this being most of our last semester I feel that there is a sense of finality in the air - Less need for pretences and such as I feel friendships fizzling. In a way, its somewhat scary when you see people change; but then again they might not have changed at all. Perhaps it is nature's intended.

Collecting my results, I think I did fairly well. Not as much as I hoped but good enough ^^  This semester will be the final leg of the race. I must do well. I will do well. So watch me. 

Looking back, I can't believe how fast time flies. It feels like only yesterday that I just began my higher education~ I will cherish and savour every moment before this chapter closes and a new one begins. I love my class ^^

Confessions of a Mela-Choleric

Its the end of the year. 

Much has happened good and bad. Looking back I realised that a lot have changed. Some I may or may not have realised yet.

For this year - for the first time I found a resolution for me to keep - something personal. Reasons being that upon reflecting back I realise that I am a pessimist. I'm proud, vain, stubborn - features that I'm not proud to admit. There are much to be thankful of and I did not. 

I chanced upon a personality quiz a month ago and I was stunned on how closely it matched me. Here are some snippets

 "...prefers to work alone, rather than with people."

"...your weaknesses include a tendency of excessive self-criticism and criticism of others, being dismissive or overly judgemental  and possessing an untrustful and controlling nature." 

"...can become a cross to those around him, through his nit-picking, perfectionism, disdain, bitterness, resentfulness, spitefulness when crossed, and even haughtiness."

These are issues that I've been struggling with this year. Trust is very hard to give and as much as I try, I demand too much from others and I become frustrated and disappointed when they fail. I am also exhausted as I find it hard to let go.

Problem issues isn't it?

However, next year will be a fresh beginning, a new one and also my final semester. A year that I intend to treasure. One where I could try to change for the better. 

I won't promise anything but I will do my best.